..walk worthy of the calling with which you were called, 2 with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love. Ephesians 4:1-2
The marriage vows….
Our wedding day…. On that happy day, we make vows, not just to our spouse, but to our Heavenly Father. It is supposed to be the beginning of a journey of learning self-less unconditional love. In those sacred vows, with our marriage founded on Christian love, we have a Helper to bless and nurture our marriage all the days of our wedded life.
What happens when the honey moon phase is over? We discover what kind of love our marriage is really being built on….selfless Christian love or love of self. It is easy to think we love someone and not realize that we are actually using that person to fill up the loneliness, emptiness, and restlessness that only God can fill.
If we are not placing God as head of our marriage, then the emptiness, loneliness, and restlessness will return. It is then that we become vulnerable to the vices and temptations that can destroy our marriage. In this day and age, the internet, texting, chat boxes, and other social outlets make it very easy to be enticed into being dissatisfied with our marriage partner and looking for other self gratifying ways to plug up the holes inside. It could be engrossing ourselves in hours of entertainment, internet surfing, etc, or it could be the danger of an emotional or physical affair.
We have to recognize the source of the problem. I have found myself vulnerable in times that I felt disconnected from my husband, but more importantly from God. Fortunately, God enlightened me as over the past months I have watched friends get caught in these traps. When their marriages break on the crashing rocks of infidelity, they very quickly turn to the social outlets to fill up the holes, and dull the hurt and pain. Instead of turning to God to be their lifeline, they immediately repeat the same vicious cycle. How can they expect their relationships to turn out any different? How can they expect God’s blessings on their life or future marriages? Why can they not see that God can’t fill up their emptiness because they keep beating him to it, and filling up the holes with their own self-gratifying quick fixes. Why can they not see that it is a relationship of death.
Why is it death? Because a relationship is a living thing. It is either growing and thriving or it is stagnating and dying. Only if God is involved can the relationship be truly maturing and growing. People make the mistake of thinking the relationship is alive because it is currently making them feel good and feeding their ego. Without God, however, it is certain death. It may be quick or it may slowly wither and fade over months and years. We have to put hedges up around our marriages, especially with the temptations so readily available to distract and destroy us via modern technology and social sites. We have to be diligent about guarding our minds, thoughts, and passions because we all could easily fall into the traps.
My prayer for any reader of this post is that God would richly bless your marriage, protect and nurture it, and continue to grow it into a beautiful, living, thriving relationship that teaches you selfless love and dependence on Him.
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