A Vintage Love
Vintage: Characterized by excellence, maturity, and enduring appeal; classic.
Feb 8th I will celebrate my 21st Anniversary to my beloved. His parents just celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary, and some day I hope that we will also reach that important milestone. I don’t want to be “just married”, however. I want to be “happily married”.
As I reminisce through early dating memories, I recall the one thing my husband did that truly won my heart. He committed to me through 3 months of being very far apart. In that day, there was no internet, cell phones, texting, etc. and long distance calls were very expensive. To keep the romance alive, he sent me at least 2 cards a week. Some were funny, some were cute, and some were serious. I loved them all, and to this day I have kept every one of them.
During the first 6 months of our marriage, we lived in a small town where we didn’t know anyone and we didn’t have much to do. We also didn’t have a TV. We spent our nights playing games, putting puzzles together, talking and making future plans. We felt very close then.
We eventually moved, however to a busier place with all the current amenities like cable TV. I became pregnant within a month after our first Anniversary as well, and boy did things change…The “Stuff of Life” took our together time away and we grew apart. We also allowed God to move to the background of our hearts and priorities. It didn’t take long for us to crash and burn.
It’s been a long road to bind our marriage together and get over the hurdles of selfishness, pride, hurt, and bitterness. Only by putting God forefront in our marriage again could we even begin to salvage it. It’s far from a perfect marriage, but it’s a marriage we value and we both want to make it A Vintage Piece.
HOW DO YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE VINTAGE?
Well, I don’t have all the answers, but I do have some important tips:
1. Focus on God’s goodness, and not on each other’s human weakness and error. Realize that humans fail and they fail each other. God, however, can redeem any circumstance and can make something good out of even human failure.
2. Focus on God’s sovereignty. Realize that God is in control of your life, even if you can not control your spouse’s behavior. Only God can change a human heart.
If your spouse is a Christian, take comfort in knowing that God’s Holy Spirit dwells within their heart. Let God make the changes, and don’t try to do that for Him.
3. Yield to the process of 2 becoming 1. It is a breaking and merging process in which God starts chipping away your selfishness so that he can open your heart to being what your spouse needs you to be. Give grace to your spouse as God performs that same work on them so that they can be what you need. Remember, however, that ultimately only God can fully complete us and trust God to be your everything instead of putting such an unreasonable expectation on your spouse.
4. Prioritize Together Time. The early years of our marriage were the best because all we had was each other to fill our time. Gaurd against the “business of life”, and the ” distractions of modern media and entertainment.” Find some things you like to do together, take walks or just have quiet neutral ground conversations. Dream together…always and look forward to what each decade of life brings as an adventure to explore together.
5. Protect the sanctity of your marriage. Make your marriage a priority and do not allow people or things that hinder or threaten your marriage to have much influence in your life. Realize that sometimes that may mean choosing your relationship with your spouse over a relationship with a relative or friend (NOTE: If that person puts you in a position to have to make a choice, then that alone is a red flag). Surround your self with people that likewise value marriage, and want your marriage to succeed.
PRAYER FOR YOU: May you value your marriage and strive to make it a vintage marriage that withstands all the tests and trials of time. May you gaurd it well against any outside influences that would seek to destroy it. May you focus on God as the One who can guide you and bless you in your years together.
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