Where I End and You Begin


“You need boundaries…even in our material creations, boundaries mark the most beautiful of places, between the ocean and the shore, between the mountains and the plains, where the canyon meets the river.” 
― Wm. Paul YoungCross Roads

Boundaries

There’s a place where I end and you begin.
It’s called a boundary.29034145_s
This place defines who you are.
Separate from me.
It protects your thoughts, and ideals
Your own vision to see.
It lets you choose the path you walk
Your own guide to be.
If I push and prod my way
Across this boundary,
You cease to be uniquely you.
In fact, you become me.
                                                   —-E.Austin

I wrote the poem above  to reflect  a simple but important concept….that boundaries are essential to a healthy relationship.  Without boundaries…dysfunction and heartache thrive.  Please join me in a series on boundaries.

Well, let’s get started with a simple definition:  What is a boundary?
A  boundary is simply a dividing line.

In a relationship, this dividing line defines what you will and will not allow.  This involves how other’s treat you, communicate with you, and most importantly how they impact your values and life choices.

In the Bible, God sets many boundaries and limitations.  He also cautions us to gaurd our hearts Prov 4:23 Watch over your heart with all diligence, For from it flow the springs of life.  God warns us about what we expose ourselves to, and He encourages us to seek positive people and influences.
Do you have boundary issues?  If you have problems with dysfunctional relationships that produce anxiety, guilt, lots of conflict, or hassle, then boundaries are likely not clearly established.  If you tend to say yes when you really want to say no, or worry about always pleasing people, and find yourself an easy target of manipulation and abuse, then you likely do not know how to set protective boundaries.  There is much to explore about boundaries and a vast amount of information on this topic in terms of books, blogs, articles, and yes, even scripture.

As a person who did not have healthy boundaries in my life, I have made many mistakes in my interpersonal relationships that have caused me significant suffering and heartache.  I have had a long struggle to try and turn that around in my life, and to begin respecting and protecting myself with the establishment of boundaries.  This has not been an easy process, because when you start setting boundaries, those who do not choose to respect those boundaries can become even more challenging to deal with.  I still have much more that I want to learn.  Hope you will join me on this journey.

Lizzie black

 

IMAGE Above: Copyright: <a href=’http://www.123rf.com/profile_balaikin’>balaikin / 123RF Stock Photo</a>

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About Grace and Grit

As a Christian, to live the abundant life, we all need a lot of grace and grit... LIVING LIFE AND LUV'N IT...as God's Child, Wife, Mother, Physical Therapist, Fitness Enthusiast, Avid Book And Blog Reader, and fan of Lighthearted Humor and Fun “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” 2 Corinthians 12:9

Posted on July 11, 2014, in Boundaries and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. What a beautiful poem! I’m an avid poem reader and have dabbled in writing them for years. I don’t share many on my blog because most are personal and family stories. I keep thinking “when life slows down and I have fewer distarctions I’ll focus on poems more.” Like most things, though, if I don’t make a point to do it, it won’t get done! 🙂 Thank you for sharing! You inspired me!

Would graciously luv to hear from you.

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